With the impending Presidential election, there are a number of hot button issues, ranging from abortion to illegal immigration. There are so many new areas that only a complete fuckwit would dredge up a topic that’s been deader than Diddy’s career. (Too soon?)
And then Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson had to open his stupid mouth. For those of you not up on politics in the Windy City, Mayor Johnson is trying to kowtow…I mean capitulate…I mean negotiate with teacher’s unions to the tune of $300 million. And apparently he thinks being in favor of fiscal responsibility by telling the teacher’s union to go fuck themselves is akin to…slavery.
Fuck me sideways.
slavery
What the Left thinks it means – a dark period of American history that whites must still atone for
What it really means – a dark period of American history that is just that, history
In the annuls of human history, one thing is abundantly clear: everybody hates “Friday” by Rebecca Black. But something else that’s clear is how humans can be complete assholes to each other, which I guess brings us back to the song that is banned under the Geneva Convention because it is considered torture.
Anyway, slavery is not one of the brightest spots in human history, and America had its role in it. It’s as much a part of our history as Plymouth Rock, the Boston Tea Party, and the Cubs being mathematically eliminated from the post season. Much like hipness, it is what it is.
But Leftists can’t seem to let it go. They have used the past to bludgeon white Leftists into submission (literal and figurative, so long as there’s money involved) and made them feel responsible for the sins of the great great great great grandfathers. To Leftists, if you’re white, you’re responsible.
Of course, that doesn’t take a lot into account, but why would a Leftist care about context when it could totally destroy the narrative?
As the relative of two Civil War veterans who fought for the Union, I might have an opinion on how fucking stupid the Left is being bringing up slavery in any context almost 160 years after the end of the Civil War. The Hatfields and McCoys didn’t hold a grudge that long and hard!
Huh huh huh. I said long and hard.
Meanwhile back at the main point, slavery has a place in our history, and that place is in the fucking past. Of course, that doesn’t stop Leftists from bringing it up to discuss current conditions within the black community. Racist hack…I mean best selling author Nikole Hannah Jones gave us the pseudo-historical shitshow called The 1619 Project based around slavery. Even the United Nations sounded off on the effects of slavery on modern society.
Did I mention the end of the Civil War was almost 160 years ago?
Here’s the thing. Nobody alive today has direct ties to the slave trade. Yes, there are relatives on both sides of that awful equation, but they are waaaaaaaay back there in the mists of our history. Today’s problems have their roots not in the time frame Roots was about, but in the shit going on right now. Gang violence, drug culture, promiscuity, all of that is a modern phenomenon. No slave masters necessary.
Unless you count the Leftists, of course.
Yes, I went there.
The fact is Leftists don’t want blacks to be successful, intelligent, and empowered. To keep people under their thumbs, Leftists need them to be dependent on the largess of the government (i.e. our money that isn’t going to Ukraine or Lebanon) for basic needs.
You know, like…slaves?
That’s why I take the Left’s constant references to slavery with a Mount Everest-sized grain of salt. They want to make us feel guilty about our past and turn our heads when they emulate the slave masters of the era about which they want us to feel guilty. I’m sorry, but I’m not as morally flexible as an unethical yoga instructor, so I can’t let that slide.
Now, Leftists are bound to throw the usual “you’re a racist” bullshit at me for saying this and challenging their skewed worldview by pointing out what they do. My counter to this is simple: I want everyone to reach their full potential and want to knock as many barriers out of their way as I can. And that includes the barriers placed on them by people who give one-one-millionth of a shit about them as people.
I come from the MLK school of thought, where a person is judged by the content of his/her character more than the color of his/her skin, because it makes the most sense. Judging someone solely on race ignores the rest of the totality of a person. Just because you’re black doesn’t mean you’re a horrible person, unless you’re Diddy. (Too soon again?) Once we get to know each other, the more we can navigate the way we communicate with, think about, and tolerate each other. That transcends race and any other superficial matter that can be used to separate us. It’s just being a decent fucking person.
And that’s why the Chicago situation amuses me so much. The Mayor using slavery to justify forking over millions of dollars to the teacher’s union isn’t being decent, but it is being deceitful. The teacher’s unions aren’t being decent because they just want the money without having to actually do anything to get it. The only people who have any claim to being decent are the ones pushing back against this stupid deal, whether it be for fiscal reasons or because they’ve seen this story play out before and nothing gets better.
And for that, opponents to Mayor Dumbass… I mean Johnson’s plans get compared to slave owners because…fuck it, I got nothing. Not even the stated reasons make sense unless you’re predisposed to believe everything can be tied back to slavery, oppression, or some Leftist buzzword.
And the real kicker is no matter how much money gets loaned out to the teacher’s unions, it will never be enough. The schools will continue to fail (in part because of the unions), Leftists will continue to make people feel guilty about shit they didn’t do, and the racial elements of the controversy will get played over and over like “Baby Shark.” Until enough people tell these fuckwits to piss off, it will keep happening and the black community will continue to get screwed by white Leftists.
Kinda like the slaveholders did, only with a lot less lube.
Tag: slavery
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Granted, I’m a week late on this, but under the circumstances (namely me deciding to write about something else), I hope you’ll forgive me. And if not, well…I’ll pout.
Anyway, California is usually at the forefront of a lot of things, namely really bad ideas. Recently, San Francisco proposed a lump sum payment of $5 million to eligible blacks for reparations, among other proposals. Additionally, the state’s Reparation Task Force submitted a report to the California Legislature that Governor Gavin Newsom is expected to implement if the legislature doesn’t act.
As a result, I am stating for the record I now self-identify as a black resident of San Francisco. Please respect my privacy during my transition.
Seriously, reparations is a controversial subject to say the least, which means it’s perfect for your favorite blogger who writes a weekly series by this specific title to cover. Take that, “Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week” written by Jerry Funklemeyer!
reparations
What the Left thinks it means – monetary compensation given to blacks due to America’s slave history
What it really means – another way for white Leftists to blow through more of our money so they can feel good about themselves
The Civil War/War Between the States/War of Northern Aggression/The War the Movie “Glory” Was Based On was one of the most difficult and bloody times of our nation’s relatively young history. From 1861 to 1865, this country was more fractured than Jackie Chan’s body after doing his own stunts. But once the Union prevailed, the question was what to do next. Back then, they didn’t have Leftists to provide their sage advice about misogyny and trans rights in the former Confederacy, so it came down to a meeting between William T. Sherman and black ministers to create an attempt at reparations: 40 acres. (Mule, sold separately.)
And that attempt got scuttled by President Andrew Johnson, leaving the matter unresolved until recently.
There have been calls for reparations in recent history, but the idea really took off in 2020 thanks to the Democratic Primaries where there were…four black candidates out of 27. Five if you count Elizabeth Warren. And of those black candidates, none got the nomination, and only one (Kamala Harris) got to the White House as Puddin’ Head Joe’s Vice-President. Not too shabby for someone who I almost tied in the Iowa Caucuses and I didn’t even run.
Out of that and the shootings of blacks that occurred in 2019-2020, the idea of reparations gained new steam, which prompted California to create the aforementioned Reparations Task Force.
So, now that we’re back in the present, let’s start shitting on the reparations idea, shall we?
As a concept, reparations aren’t that hard to understand. We wronged an entire race of people by enslaving them and treating them worse than Ike treated Tina, so we want to try to balance the scales somehow. Admirable goal, but the logistical equivalent of an M.C. Escher drawing.
The biggest hurdle to the idea of reparations is the fact none of the people who are demanding it today were ever slaves. And it’s not like we can fire up the TARDIS, go back to 1865, drop off $5 million, and tell the slaves to invest heavily in Apple in 100+ years. Although time can be a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, it’s still bound by fixed events that can be tracked. And with the passage of time comes the birth of generation after generation that are removed from slavery altogether, save by bloodline.
But does bloodline alone create a solid enough link to award $5 million? That creates another speed bump to payday: what about those who either didn’t own slaves or fought for the Union in the Civil War? If bloodline is enough to give away money, it should also be good enough to exempt people from being forced to contribute to this monetary transfer. I have two relatives who fought for the Union (who, by the way, fought at least in part to end slavery). Yet, I get the feeling I would be expected to open my wallet and give generously to the Give Non-Slaves $5 Million Because Fuck You That’s Why Foundation.
And don’t get me started on their telethons!
Then, there’s the question of mixed-race children. Back in the day, white slaveowners knocked boots with slaves, which resulted in the genes of both races coming together to form a new life. Would the families of such a sexual union have to pay up or receive reparations? Or maybe they would just get $2.5 million? Or would the white half have to pay the black half $5 million?
Regardless, the fact we can even ask some of these questions without the pro-reparations side coming up with answers is not a good sign. But wait, there’s more!
Dropping $5 million into anyone’s lap is going to be significant, and it opens up any number of opportunities. And if it’s bundled in hundred dollar bills, it’s going to make the males in the audience sing tenor for a few years. For most people, though, it’s life-changing money, but only if it’s used intelligently. This is where human nature comes into play. If we get any amount of money from $2 on a scratch-off ticket to millions of dollars, our first instinct is to spend it. If this sum comes with few strings attached, though, we can get pretty reckless with it because in our minds it’s “free money.”
But just as any breadwinner today can tell you, money can run out fast if you’re not careful. Or if you vote for Puddin’ Head Joe, which is pretty much the same thing as not being careful.
When we don’t know or care how we get the money, we have less of an incentive to be smart with it. And, no, this isn’t a racial thing, but rather a human thing. Economists have studied this phenomenon for decades and it always ends the same way: the further we are away from earning money, the easier it gets to spend. Hence, the reason so many big lottery winners end up blowing their winnings and winding up right back where they started.
Guess what I think will happen to the reparations money if it gets approved.
And it’s not like there isn’t precedent with this. Remember Hurricane Katrina (which, oddly or appropriately enough, was the last time Kanye West was relevant)? Well, some inventive (and ultimately dishonest) people found a way to turn tragedy into a windfall to the tune of an estimated $2 billion. Between recipients of the aid spending the money on non-essential items, including vacations and porn, and others getting relief funds for people who didn’t exist, Katrina proved to be a disaster of a natural disaster response.
But the Katrina failure was more federal, right? Nothing like that could happen on the state level, right? Wellllll…not really. Our good friends on the Left Coast racked up an estimated $20 billion in fraud related to the pandemic. Leftists bad with money? Why that’s…pretty normal, really.
Now, why would I bring up Katrina and COVID in a discussion about reparations? To underscore a point that will taint the idea: governments, especially large ones, don’t keep good tabs on who is getting the money. It’s more of a rubber-stamp process. Granted, the reparations initiative in San Francisco comes with some conditions, but I’m not sure the state government that racked up ten times the Katrina fraud is capable of making sure the conditions are met.
But then again, it’s not meant to be effective or efficient except in one area: easing the guilt white Leftists feel over slavery. And they’re willing to spend as much of your money as possible to make sure they feel better no matter how long it takes! When you consider the amount of guilt a Leftist could prevent brownouts in California if it could be converted into electricity, let’s just say you might as well give the government access to your bank accounts. I mean, if China doesn’t already have it, thanks to TikTok.
It’s at this point I need to remind the white Leftists…none of you fuckknuckles were alive during slavery. You can feel bad about what happened generations ago, but to make it a central part of your life is a bit extreme and at this point silly. Kinda like the Young Turks, but less comedic. You cannot change the past, nor can you expect any amount of money to ever make it right because there will always be people willing to prey on your guilt to get more money out of you. As long as the greedy and dishonest among us see Leftist largess as free money, the spigot will never turn completely off and there will be fraud aplenty.
The thing is the Left has made it amazingly easy to game the system, thanks to the rhetoric they’ve already presented as true. And eagle-eyed readers already know how. Remember, the Left maintains how you self-identify is as real as how you are. Rachel Dolezal and Shawn King both identify as black in spite of being whiter than a medical isolation room run by Mormon IBM executives. Yet, they were/are considered to be authentic voices on the black experience in America.
Well, shit. If they can do it, so can I. And I can think of 5 million reasons to do it!
And California can’t say shit about it. Well, they can, but they’ll look like hypocritical assholes doing it. So, win-win!