One of the biggest voting blocs (according to politicians seeing election) is the middle class. Democrats and Republicans equally talk about how much they care about the middle class, even going so far as to LARP as working people when it suits their needs.
Our latest LARPer is current Queen Kamala the Appointed. She’s claimed to have been raised middle class, even working at McDonalds during her college years, so she’s totes relatable! On a completely unrelated note, during her tenure at the Golden Arches she was made Ice Cream Machine Czar. Make of that what you will.
Even as her hobbling mate Tim Walz tries to support Queen Kamala the Appointed’s middle class bonafides, the rest of us are left to wonder what the middle class actually is. And, let me tell ya, that’s a hard thing to pin down.
middle class
What the Left thinks it means – hard working average Americans living paycheck-to-paycheck because of Republican policies
What the Right thinks it means – hard working average Americans living paycheck-to-paycheck because of Democrat policies
What it really means – a socioeconomic group that both major parties want to claim as their own without actually doing anything to warrant it
Political parties using humans as political pawns? I’m just as shocked as you are, folks!
Anyway, it’s hard to pin down what the middle class is because there are so many definitions from the “no fucking duh” to the more calculated. In general, it’s people making between $30,000 and $210,000 depending on the size of the family according to the Pew Research Center and the US Census Bureau in 2020.
But it goes beyond this salary range, at least to your humble correspondent. Middle class is also a mindset shaped less by politics and more by the daily grind. This swath of the American public comes from all different political and intellectual backgrounds and are united by the fact they’re not rich enough to be upper class, but too rich to be the lower class. They are dead center.
Which makes them the perfect targets for the Left and the Right.
From a PR standpoint, the middle class is the most revered socioeconomic status in America. They are the working class, the men and women who get their hands dirty because they’re the ones getting shit done (especially if you’re a manure salesman). When you think of the middle class, you think of the people from a Norman Rockwell painting. They are America!
And what better way to convince dimwitted potential voters to support your candidate than to tap into that version of America?
The problem is neither major party actually understands the middle class, mainly because neither major party is middle class. They are the well-off whose only interaction with the middle class is when they’re looking out of place amongst them. For every photo op where a Congresscritter puts on a pair of Carhartts and does a slow-motion walk next to a cornfield, there are at least 2 or 3 fundraisers he/she will attend where anyone wearing Carhartts wouldn’t even be allowed in the building. There are a few exceptions, but you can count them on the hand of the world’s unluckiest fireworks enthusiast.
So, the Left and the Right do what they always do when trying to appeal to the middle class: throw money at them. The Left are big fans of middle class tax cuts while the Right fights for good paying middle class jobs that can’t be taken by foreigners.
For some reason, a Stealers Wheel song is playing in my head right now…
Meanwhile, the middle class is still struggling, and the promise of money and jobs won’t fix things. A tax cut is nice, but when the money is swallowed up by high prices for gas, food, and clothes due to Leftist policies, it doesn’t do shit. Good paying jobs would be a plus, but it opens the door for a lot of government micromanagement and, thus, macro-waste that will only favor guess who (and I ain’t talking about that band here, kids).
The only politician that has even come close to understanding the middle class is Donald Trump, which is odd considering he sure as shit isn’t one of us. And even he gets it wrong, like when he pushes for higher tariffs on foreign goods. Sure, it sounds good and is certainly a red-meat issue for the middle class, but it will make things worse on the very people Trump is trying to appeal to in this case.
Having said all that, there is a reason Trump is popular with the middle class: he makes it sound like he’s listening to them. And that is something middle class people don’t always have. The wealthy and the poor are by and large okay with where they are, leaving the work to be done by those in neither category. Need some tomatoes grown? Done by the middle class. Need some people to work in factories? Done by the middle class. Need a rubber butt plug in the shape of a Dalek for a very unusual bat mitzvah? Maybe not done by the middle class, but since we’re here, does anyone have any leads? I’m asking for a friend.
Trump has touched on a source of political power that both major parties have ignored for reasons I mentioned earlier. His campaign has done a masterful job courting people who might not have voted for him otherwise, but sure as shit can’t vote for those looking to continue the way are going right now.
Not that it’s going to deter the Left from trying to convince people to take a big bite of their shit sandwich for another 4 years. To counteract Trump’s connection to the middle class, Queen Kamala the Appointed brought on the Mirror Universe Dick Cheney known more formally as Tim Walz. Walz looks like a middle class guy who loves donuts and coffee and will be willing to help you change a tire or give you advice on how to make your lawn mower run better in high grass. Hell, he might even bring over a hot dish to pass when you and your family come down with the flu.
One tiny problem with that: his family’s net worth is estimated at over $1 million. Going by the calculations referenced above, that would put him just a little outside of the high end of the middle class. And by a little outside, I’m talking almost 5 times higher. Tim Walz is no more middle class than Bill Gates is, even though they often wear similar clothes.
That’s the thing that infuriates me the most about politicians from either side trying to appeal to the middle class: it’s all an act to them. They cosplay as us when it’s time to get votes, but once the political version of Halloween is over, they go back to being rich assholes who wouldn’t be caught dead wearing coveralls and working for their daily bread. That’s why they have staff.
At some point, the middle class is going to figure out how and how much they’ve been played and there will be hell to pay. If you’re curious at how that might play out, let me recommend a book to read.
It’s called Atlas Shrugged. And, Spoiler Alert, it doesn’t end well for the people reliant upon the workers to get shit done.