In a post-COVID world where the world went nuttier than elephant shit, I thought nothing could shock me. Today, I was shocked by CNN of all things.
You see, Anderson Cooper admitted Michael Cohen, a witness in the ongoing show railroading…I mean trial of former President Donald Trump, may have lied in his testimony. I’ll give you a moment to pick your jaws off the floor.
After years of holding the former President accountable for every statement that could be construed as untrue, it seems the Left seems to have lost its taste for finding the truth. Of course, I’m sure that’s just a complete coincidence, though. I mean, you would have to be complete assholes to demand the truth from only one side of the political aisle!
Oh, wait…
lying
What the Left thinks it means – something the Right does to advance their agenda
What it really means – something both sides do to advance their agendas
To borrow a phrase from some former President whose name escapes me at the moment, “Let me be clear.” Both sides of the aisle lie. In fact, lying is the coin of the realm in Washington. Where the Left and the Right differ, at least to me, is only the Left swings back and forth between demanding the truth and excusing the lies.
And one way the Left loves to lie is through the use of “fact-checkers.” The Washington Post claimed Trump made over 30,000 “false or misleading” claims. Of course, they don’t come out and show their math because, well, it’s fact-checked, so it has to be true, right?
Well, that depends on what the definition of false or misleading claims is. I got that from a different former President whose name escapes me at the moment. Turns out the fact checkers were stretching the truth on what they considered false or misleading. Why, it’s almost like these self-important assholes had a Paul Bunyan-sized axe to grind!
And this can be seen by watching the utter lack of fact-checking done for the current Administration under President Brick Tamland. First off, there’s the President, who recently told 15 lies in a 17 minute interview with CNN. And if you can figure out what Vice President Kamala Harris says, she doesn’t have a notarized tongue either. Just ask Willie Brown.
Then, we get to White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. To put it bluntly, she is as trustworthy as Hunter Biden’s accountability buddy. And when she gets caught in a lie, she doesn’t take it well. In fact, Fox News reporter Peter Doocy has proven to be Jean-Pierre’s version of Jim Acosta. I’m sorry. That is insulting. For that horrible and utterly demeaning comparison, I apologize to you, Mr. Doocy.
Anyway, the Left’s on-again/off-again love of the truth is hypocritical, yet utterly amusing. I mean, how can you legitimately take Leftists seriously when their commitment to the truth is as spotty as dial-up Internet? The problem is there are people out there either willing to swallow the bullshit or not informed enough to see through the lies, which encourages Leftists to continue to lie. And when they can’t lie their way out of a situation, they’ll gaslight you. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, gaslighting is lying, but a lot meaner.
So, this is where we come in. The fact the Left lies with such ease and without consequence makes it a lot harder to reach people, but it’s worth it. Expose the lies and have backup from multiple sources. Know your shit, and be unafraid to express it.
Yes, this is going to get you in trouble with the Left, but let’s be honest. Most Leftists are as dangerous as a Nerf marshmallow. And those who are dangerous tend to be dumber than the plot of a Michael Bay movie, so the likelihood of running into a Leftist badass is less than finding Hunter Biden not doing drugs. Still, you have to weigh your options and pick your battles accordingly. Remember, your goal isn’t to convince a Leftist to change his/her/its mind, but to convince a non-Leftist that you’re not full of shit.
And given how Leftists are trying to push the idea the economy is just fine in spite of having to take out a third mortgage to get a cup of Mostly Okay, But Possibly Inedible Raman (spelled differently because it’s a cheap knockoff of Mostly Okay, But Possibly Inedible Ramen), it may not be as hard as you think.
Tag: karine jean-pierre
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I would never want to be a White House Press Secretary under any circumstances. First, you have to communicate with members of the press, which is like going to Chuck E Cheese during a big toddler birthday party on a good day (and working that same birthday on a bad day). Second, you might have to address a scandal that involves the President and his/her family.
And then, there’s the third reason: I’d have the same title as the current Press Secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, who makes Jen Psaki look good by comparison. Recently, Jean-Pierre responded to a question about the ongoing legal troubles of Hunter Biden, who I’m lead to believe is related in some way to President Puddin’ Head Joe but I’m waiting until the mainstream media confirms because I’m thorough like that. Apparently, I’m still having to wait since Karine Jean-Pierre referred to Hunter Biden as a “private citizen” and the press hasn’t asked a follow-up question about it.
While we wait on reporters to, you know, do their fucking jobs, let’s talk about private citizens for a bit. Maybe by the time this piece is done, we will be able to confirm the First Crackhead is related to Puddin’ Head Joe.
private citizen
What the Left thinks it means – people who should be kept out of the public spotlight to avoid unnecessary attention
What it really means – how Leftists describe one of their own when he/she/it royally fucks up
The concept of what constitutes a private citizen has been the subject of a lot of good natured debate within First Amendment scholarly circles. And, as is the case with such scholarly debates, nothing’s really come of it except more debate. Fortunately, the law gives us a bit more clarity:
The term “private person” means— (A) any individual who is a citizen or national of the United States; and (B) any corporation, partnership, association, or other legal entity organized or existing under the law of any State, whether for profit or not for profit.
And by “a bit” I mean none at all.
Generally, the rule of thumb is a person who is not well-known would be a private citizen. In short, anybody who still uses Mastodon as a Twitter alternative. Once that person gets a bit of fame or infamy, the protections afforded a private citizen get worn away. Still, even someone well-known in Monkey’s Ass, Wyoming, would not be as well-known in New York City, so venue matters.
Or it used to. Thanks 24/7 news and social media.
Then, there are celebrities. In exchange for fame, fortune, and the occasional appearance on talk shows, they give up expectations of privacy for as long as they’re in the public consciousness. Some, like Dustin “Screech” Diamond, never quite escape. Others, like Dustin “Screech” Diamond’s stunt double, reclaim their privacy by giving up their celebrity.
The thing about celebrity, though, is it can be extended to members of their families. The children of politicians fall into this category, especially if they fuck up in such a way it makes the news. Ask the Bush Twins about that after their underage drinking fiasco. That means, Hunter Biden, if he truly is the offspring of Puddin’ Head Joe, would not qualify as a private citizen.
Wait…nope. Still no mainstream media confirmation of that yet. But hope springs eternal.
So, why would Karine Jean-Pierre lie to us about Hunter Biden being a private citizen? I mean, aside from it’s her job to unconvincingly lie to the White House Press Lapdogs…I mean Corps. The short answer is because she can get away with it. The politically obvious reasons are, well, Hunter Biden is a crackhead embarrassment that makes his dad look even worse than he already does, thus handing Republicans an easier win than any woman against a Leftist man in an arm wrestling contest. The more people connect Hunter to Joe, the harder it is for Hunter to be considered a private citizen.
At its face, the idea is absurd. But these are Leftists we’re dealing with here, so it’s not surprising. The Left wants you to believe Hunter Biden, who has a well-documented history of being a shitty person, somehow isn’t famous enough to be covered as a news story, hence he’s a private citizen. Yet, his art that sells for $500,000 a flop…I mean pop gets people all over the world to buy it, so he logically can’t be a private citizen because he’s known worldwide.
This is why I don’t recommend trying to make sense of Leftist logic without hard liquor.
Now, it’s nice to know Leftists care about protecting private citizens from undue attention. If only they weren’t fucking hypocrites on the subject when it suits their needs. If you’re a Colorado baker who happens to be Christian and refused to bend over (figuratively and literally) to a same-sex couple, you get put on blast so everyone knows how much of an evil no-good right wing homophobe bigot Hitler wannabe you are. If you’re a member of ANTIFA who gets caught on video attacking someone with a bike chain, the Left will go out of their way to hide that information.
Hmmm…if only there were indicators of when the Left will flip-flop on what constitutes a private citizen…oh, wait, there is! They always flip-flop like John Kerry cooking at a beachfront IHOP working straight commission.
As unsurprising as the Left’s duplicity regarding private citizens is, the scary thing is it may be too late to protect private citizens, actual and hypothetical, due to the advent of social media. Any dick with a cell phone can film you doing something horrible (or at least make it look like you did something horrible), post it online, and make you famous before you can say “YouTube Shorts.” Then, you are known as Fat Guy Yells At Burger King Employee While His Shorts Fall Down forever and you have to delete your online presence and start blogging under the name of Thomas…
I’ve said too much.
Anyway, with privacy going the way of anyone not fawning over the Barbie movie, we need to get on the stick to address how this impacts private citizens. Unfortunately, we’re lightyears behind and no one else is thinking about this issue because there’s a Barbie movie, you guys! That, and the fact more people want to be seen on social media like TikTok, so they’re willing to trade their status as private citizens for fame, no matter how temporary it is.
Yep. We’re fucked.
Until such time as society decides to give up on being famous, it’s up to us to keep the idea of a private citizen alive. That means keeping your head down, being aware of your surroundings and the people in it, and not drawing attention to yourselves. Live your life as much off the grid as possible, or if that’s not possible, be smart with what you share. Yes, this will make you massively unhip to the rest of the world, but when you consider what is considered cool these days, it’s no big loss.
On a larger scale, we have to recognize what a private citizen is and why Hunter Biden isn’t one. No matter how the Left tries to spin it, this situation is like a Lindsey Lohan drug story, only with shittier art. And considering Lohan’s acting career, that’s saying a lot!
This just in! Still no mainstream media confirmation Hunter and Puddin’ Head Joe are related. Like the number of licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.