If you think you’ve had a hectic week, just think of the week former President Donald Trump had. His social calendar (if not his Truth Social account) were a bit on the busy side, what with the FBI raiding…I mean visiting Mar-a-Lago looking for classified documents allegedly on the premises. Granted, I’m not sure who would want to hurt a Lago, let alone mar one, but that’s neither here nor there.
To say the Federal Bureau of Investigation has been in hot water in recent years is like saying President Joe Biden has a small problem with plagiarism: it’s accurate, but not nearly to the right magnitude. Now with the FBI under scrutiny again after their Mar-a-Lago visit, it’s as good a time as any to take a closer look at the agency.
the FBI
What the Left thinks it means – the most powerful law enforcement agency in America, full of hard working men and women upholding our laws and trying to stop criminals
What it really means – Barney Fife with less supervision
It wasn’t that long ago the FBI had a good reputation. In between J. Edgar Hoover’s trips to Victoria’s Secret, they managed to bring down criminals, keep the country relatively safe, and inspire young and old alike to be good citizens. But as all good things do, the image got some tarnish on it with some highly questionable decisions, like investigating and working against Martin Luther King, Jr. because Hoover thought he had Communist ties. (No word on if MLK had the matching suspenders.)
One could say the FBI’s image as beacons of law started to erode when Americans’ trust in government did. Watergate opened up the floodgates (if you’ll pardon the pun, and even if you don’t) as well as more than a few eyes to see the Emperor wasn’t wearing anything and Hoover himself was wearing a lace teddy and stiletto heels.
Okay, I’ve officially creeped myself out there.
From there, the agency could only watch as fewer and fewer people trusted the FBI. Of course, a history of domestic spying might make people a little paranoid…
Oddly enough, it was Leftists for the longest time who cried out the most about the FBI’s abuse of power, and with good reason. What the FBI did in the name of justice made a mockery of it in the worst way and caused serious damage to our nation for spurious reasons. But somewhere between then and now, the Left decided the FBI wasn’t so bad after all. And I think it started when Leftists ditched the love beads and Nehru jackets and put on suits and dress shoes to start working within the system they rallied against for so long. Either that or someone developed a strain of pot that made people want to join the FBI.
Saaaaaay…I might be onto something there!
Either way, when Leftists found their ways into positions of power, they did what they do best: fuck it all up through politics. Over time, the FBI has replaced actual justice with social justice and became tools of not the powerful, but the power-hungry. And thanks to the FBI, they ate very well, figuratively and literally.
As you might expect, the FBI found out it had a taste for power, too. I mean, when you are the most powerful law enforcement agency in the country and people can’t Karen their way into getting a supervisor, you tend to feel invulnerable. Oh, and did I mention they practically have unlimited funds thanks to the generosity of our Congresscritters? With that kind of power and money, you would hope the agency would work effectively.
And you’d be wrong. Here is a brief list of notable failures over the FBI’s recent history.
– ignoring red flags that Nikolas Cruz was likely to commit a crime, which lead to the Parkland, Florida, school shootings (Making David Hogg a national figure should be grounds to defund the FBI.)
– not following up on sexual abuse allegations against gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar, resulting in high-profile gymnasts making the issue public to get attention on the allegations and the agency’s failures
– playing a game of cyber chicken with Apple trying to force/coerce them into unlocking an iPhone belonging to one of the San Bernardino shooters and exposing proprietary technology
– the disastrous events of Waco and Ruby Ridge
– the bungled investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails
Ranker lists 10 more beyond these, and Wikipedia has tons more, but you see the point. Our top cops make the Uvalde Police Department look like the cops on any of the 428 “CSI” programs on CBS right now. (I’m particularly a fan of “CSI: Nome.” Not a lot of cases, but the ones they get are intense!)
Of course with all of the negative attention around the FBI in recent years, FBI agents have hurt fee-fees. No matter what they do or what successes they have, people still like used car salesmen more than the FBI. First off, welcome to adulthood. Second, people might have a higher opinion of you if you didn’t constantly fuck up.
Which brings us to the raid on Mar-a-Lago. Although the Left ate up that red meat like a hungry lion (or Ron Swanson wanting a light snack), there are some serious questions to be answered, and our good friends at the FBI aren’t quick on providing them. More superficially, however, it just doesn’t look good. The more we discover about how the warrant was issued, the worse it gets for the FBI. Seriously, the only way it could have looked any more anti-Trump would be if Peter Strzok and Lisa Page were running it with James Comey riding shotgun.
And that’s a major issue for me. Politics and law enforcement don’t mix very well because at some point the former will hinder the latter. There is a reason Justice is blind, and it’s not so bribes can be taken under the table. It’s so every person is considered equal under the law, whether you’re Nancy Pelosi’s husband or Joe Sixpack. Unfortunately, though, our justice system is full of ideologically-driven people looking to recreate the law in their own images.
Guess which federal law enforcement agency with a three-letter abbreviation has that problem right now.
For the Left, that’s the perfect breeding ground. Almost unlimited funding, almost unlimited power, the intimidation factor, and a well-documented movement to reform law enforcement to make it more Leftist-friendly. No wonder the Left has been so quick to defend the FBI lately: it’s on their side. Just remember, Leftists were the ones who came to Strzok and Page’s defense, saying their text message on phones that belonged to the government (i.e. us) were private and shouldn’t be made public.
Even though these text exposed them as being anti-Trump and overtly willing to undermine his election.
Oh, well. I’m sure the FBI will get right on that investigation as soon as they charge more January 6 protestors for crimes that would normally get a slap on the wrist instead of years in jail awaiting sentencing.
Right now, the Federal Bureau of Investigation is Fucked Beyond Infinity because it’s lost sight of what it’s job and duties actually are. Nothing short of a wholesale refurbish would solve the problems the FBI has right now, but as long as the Left has its tentacles in it, nothing like that will occur. Unless it’s to get rid of conservative FBI agents, of course. They’re super-duper-dangerous, what with their belief in the Constitution and following the laws as written.
In the meantime, the best advice I can give is to not catch a federal charge. If you do, be prepared to enter a world of pain unlike anything you’ve seen since the last Pauly Shore standup show.
