In spite of my desire to have him stay in the Maine Senate race just to see how much he could fuck up his chances, Graham Platner officially dropped out. And now Leftists want us to forget some of their progressive superstars backed him so they can move on to other things, like choosing a replacement and/or blaming Donald Trump for Platner’s downfall.
So, that’s it, right?
Not so much. Graham Platner may have gone the way of any coherent thought in Queen Kamala the Appointed’s brain, but the damage he’s caused is going to resonate for quite a while, and the Left doesn’t even realize it yet. To be fair, they might not realize it after they read this piece, so there’s that.
The first problem the Left faces PP (Post-Platner) is optics. Our favorite oyster farmer with a Nazi tattoo managed to get a lot of high-profile progressives on his side. Bernie “Fight the Oligarchy, But Not Me” Sanders, Elizabeth “Chief Running Mouth” Warren, Ro “Yer Boat” Khanna, Ruben “Not Cool Enough For a Nickname” Gallego, and many others. The Left may try to memoryhole this, but the Internet is forever and it’s undefeated. The pictures, the statements, the videos, the tweets (or Xs if you prefer), and all of that will be around for a while and dog these assholes for a long time.
Not to mention, it gives the GOP campaign ad fodder for the midterms, the 2028 Presidential election, and any time these nozzleheads try to stick their heads out of their asses to support another candidate. I can see the ad copy now…
[Insert name of Leftist who supported Platner] wants to run for [insert name of office]. This is the same person who didn’t see anything wrong with an accused rapist with a Nazi tattoo before withdrawing support. Is this the kind of person you want representing you?
By the way, if there are any Republicans looking for someone to write ad copy, give a brother a hook up!
That means let me have a job. I’m not sure how hip Republican leadership is these days, so I figured I’d better explain it.
And then there’s the scramble to find a new candidate to run against Susan “I Totally Didn’t Get That Last Reference” Collins. The Democrats are on the clock to find someone to replace Platner, and…how can I put this delicately…the pickings are slimmer than Kate Moss on Ozempic. The recent debate with the 8 contenders made a carnival freak show look Amish. One had a brain freeze rivaling President Brick Tamland, another has a past that rivals Platner, and one was just…yeah, I’m not going there.
Remember, kids, these are the candidates Maine Democrats think would be better than a guy with a literal Nazi tattoo and multiple sexual assault allegations.
Which brings us to the Left’s attitude towards sexual assault. Sure, they hate it when it comes to allegations about Donald Trump, but with Platner? Apparently their limit on such allegations is 10 because they didn’t try to flush his ass (which I understand he might enjoy) until the 11th accusation, this time from a Democrat supporter with a story flimsier than E. Jean Carroll’s.
But up until then, they were all sweeping for Platner.
Now, tell me how that gives them any credibility on sexual assault going forward. Let me save you some breath and brain power: it doesn’t. It shows you’re willing to let women be victims if a politician has the “right” political positions. Of course, anyone who was around when these same asshats were sweeping for Bill Clinton could see history repeating itself. But, yeah, keep telling us about how Donald Trump is a rapist.
The biggest takeaway from the Platner implosion is just how scared the Left is by the rise of the Democratic Socialists of America from their even further left flank. DSA members are running and mostly winning seats that would have been Democrat cakewalks in previous years. This shows me there’s a civil war brewing on the Left and the more mainstream Leftists aren’t ready for it. And let me just say the DSA would be perfectly fine with a Platner-esque candidate if it meant getting rid of a Democrat do-nothing.
So even though Graham Platner is gone, his impact is going to be felt for a long time. Meanwhile, I would invest heavily in popcorn futures.
Day: July 19, 2026
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
This week’s Lexicon entry takes us from the national and international stages to something a little closer to home. As can be expected from the day after Election Day until the next Election Day, there are politicians running for office, and their ads are more ubiquitous than the bad reviews for “Supergirl.” (Too soon?) One of the ads is for a Republican running for reelection in my home state of Iowa, and in that ad a lot of time is spent on how this candidate wants to end the “death tax.” More on that in a bit.
While cruising Facebook (since I have the social media skills of a rock), I saw a Leftist post about this effort, basically saying it’s pointless since Iowa has already done away with the death tax…all the while missing the point this candidate is running for reelection to the House of Representatives, as in the one in Washington, DC. Nobody said Leftists were smart, and if they did, they were lying. Or Leftists themselves, but I repeat myself.
Anyway, I thought this would be a good time to avoid talking about immigration for at least a week and focus on one of the tepid-button issues of our time.
death tax
What the Left thinks it means – a necessary tax to prevent wealthy families from hoarding money
What it really means – government taking more money from people simply for inheriting valuables
Although it has an ominous, yet totally kick-ass, name, the death tax is more commonly known by two more mundane names, the inheritance tax and the estate tax. There are important differences between the two, but they both operate on the same premise: government wants a cut of anything you get. Well, except for your crazy Aunt Freida’s erotic Hummel collection. That shit goes on eBay!
Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Meanwhile back at the main point, I’m not a big fan of taxation in general, but the death tax in any of its forms is particularly shitty to me. Not only is any money or value taxed while the original owner is alive, but then it gets taxed again because the owner died and wanted someone else to have it. And when you consider the extent of the government’s involvement in the situation is holding out its hands like beggars, it makes a fucked up situation even more fucked up.
Which is why the Left loves death taxes so much. Granted, they’ve never met a tax they haven’t loved, but the death tax is special. It combines two of their favorite things in the world: taking money from people, and class warfare.
And, yes, I see the humor in “class” and “Leftist” appearing in such close proximity.
Which leads us into a topic joined at the hip with the death tax, class warfare. Without turning this into a Leftist Lexicon entry within a Leftist Lexicon entry (Lexception, in other words), this refers to a Leftist tactic driven by jealousy at people who do better than others. After all, Leftists believe any rich person’s success comes through exploitation of the workers.
Of course, this doesn’t apply to wealthy Leftists like our good friend, Uncle George Soros…
The point is Leftists believe the only way to get people to pissed off enough to go after those rich assholes is to stoke resentment with those who aren’t rich. Hence, we have class warfare.
But there’s a tiny problem with that: most rich people don’t do anything for or against the rest of society. Rarely will you find a billionaire with a secret lair hidden within a volcano and plotting world domination with a death ray (for peaceful purposes only). Most of the time, those with that kind of wealth don’t rub shoulders with John Q. Public, so there really isn’t a logical basis for there to be hard feelings towards the Elon Musks of the world.
But the Left doesn’t operate in the world of logic. Instead, they want you to feel something, usually hatred, depression, and other things that make you a fucking drag at parties. I know this because I used to be a Leftist, and it was one of the most miserable times of my life. When you’re a Leftist, you’re perpetually pissed off at something that’s outside of your control, which leads to more impotent rage, which then leads to stupid protests.
Which leads to me pointing, laughing, and hopefully making you laugh at the absurdity.
The same pissed-offedness works behind the scenes with death tax. After all, it’s not fair someone would give you money simply for not dying yet when that money could have gone to a real world issue, like increasing LGBTQIA+THISDAMNACRONYMGETSFUCKINGLONGERBYTHEFUCKINGDAY visibility in [insert movement, hobby, or other activity where people are having too much fun]. So, because your favorite Leftist movement isn’t getting a penny, they have to force you to give up some of it under threat of governmental enforcement.
So, they’re nice people…
And before you can say “taxation is theft” you’re going to get pushback from the Left talking about all the great things that could be funded with the death tax. In response, let me point out the fact we’re dealing with billions of dollars in taxpayer fraud, so that tells me the government is spending the money like a coke fiend with a dealer on speed dial and a black Amex card. In other words, Hunter Biden. It also tells me the government doesn’t need the money from the death tax as much as it needs one hell of an intervention.
And one way we can kick that off is to eliminate the death tax. It makes no literal sense to punish a family by taking money away from them because it comes into an inheritance. Unless that inheritance came from a mattress, it was already taxed at some point. And if it was stuffed in a mattress, it wouldn’t be very comfortable, which is only marginally worse than an IRS audit, so I’d call it square.
Even if we’d be lucky to get a wooden nickel from our eccentric Uncle Throckmorton, the government has no business getting even that much. If a relative dying is good enough for Leftist assholes to hold out their hands waiting for their “fair share,” it’s an even better reason to deny them their payday because it makes them no better than stereotypical relatives at a will reading waiting for their payout.
In other words, the Biden family.